your daughter, the boy king
your daughter the boy king is thinking about shaving his head again
your daughter the boy king likes red wine now because it stains his lips
dressing him up as a minor god with his minor altar and erasing the siren in the mirror
in favor of teeth sharpened on words unsaid and cigarettes only ever unlit
your daughter the boy king wears rings as iron knuckles
your daughter the boy king does not wish to be your daughter anymore
in the same way a woman isn’t a woman anymore once she falls ill,
accursed by the moon or the frantic yellow hysteria
your (---) the boy king has been learning about fevers,
your (---) the boy king admires the natural urge to expel curses when they hatch blood eggs fevers are never the enemy, but instead the battalion of angels
sent to destroy the parasite invading the body
your (---) the boy king is burning up and going out at night
your (---) the boy king extends his bitten fingernails into these marvels called warm bodies together stars are forged in honey in the precious hours between lunatic and morning dew
the nooks between thighs enter solstice where thatches of body hair grow furiously
your (---) boy king adopts a penname, drags his dead behind him on a chainlink fence
your (---) boy king sits up with an ouija board and asks why there’s no ghosts who know his grief becoming is like a slaughter where you are a butcher and you are a deer and you are a cleaver
tell me, where does a king sit when all of the chairs have been burnt to the ground by a fever?
d. h. lane
d. h. lane (he/she) is a linguistics and creative writing undergrad at syracuse university who is working on her debut novella. you can find his works at beloved zine, dog teeth, spires, bullshit lit, swim press, and on substack at delightfullyunhinged.substack.com. she can be found at (twt) @schrdingersdyke (or insta) @del.pdf.
Why Taylor Loved it:
What a rad poem.
The strikethroughs and dashes are unique yes, but they also really support and mesh with the content. This isn’t just experimentation for the sake of experimentation. Through the form, we have the loss of the word “daughter” (on a line about fever, which also comes back in the final line) which fades as “boy king” slowly takes its place (finally alone on a line about burning up and going out at night…so smart). The speaker/form also slowly takes greater possession and ownership of their gender as “your” is crossed out, indicating the parental figures losing control. I think if you really wanted to, you could spend a lot of time breaking down this poem’s form.
And like the form is sick and holding so much weight, but let's not gloss over these lines like they aren’t one-two punches to the gut. There is a dark-horror edge here that I read as commentary on forced gender roles, and the strong type of “boy kings” it takes to break them down. If you scroll down you’ll see the author talk more about this, much better than I can so please go do that!
I am so stoked about this piece and so pumped to share it.
Interview
When we chatted about this poem during the acceptance process, you mentioned this was the first time you'd experimented like this. What was your writing process like for this poem and how did it come about?
Yes! This was my first time trying something a little different. Normally, my poetry is consistently in lowercase, but I stick to the expected conventions of typical periods, commas, etcetera. However, I knew if I was writing a poem with the 'boy king' gendered theme that was deeply personal to me, I knew I had to do so boldly as delving into that part of my identity has historically been a massive boundary for me. The act of physically writing the poem and unwriting parts of it as a creation process was immensely cathartic. It felt a lot like compartmentalizing living as one thing for so long and then learning to (lovingly) bid it farewell even though parts of it--daughterhood, for example-- will always be sacred to me. It felt like making peace with the years I spent repressing the ways I felt about my gender and gender expression! I wrote the entire thing in one sitting at a coffee shop a mile away from my dorm building probably sometime this January, and it came so naturally even though it felt very new. I knew what to cross out and where to add those beats and parentheses-- it honestly was as if I had been waiting for the poem to produce itself, which I am aware sounds a bit insane, but! I am thrilled with how it came out and though I never publish writing that doesn't feel true to myself, this one feels a little extra true :)
How does this poem fit within your discography? Is this a major departure from the themes you normally write about, or does it align? How so?
I'd say it's consistent in terms of style in the realm of word choice and theme-- I do a lot of writing with religious motifs as well as use sickness and blood and such as metaphors for other things, i.e. gender, sexuality, disability, and so on. The stuff discussed with the experimenting is, of course, new, but I intend to try more of it! Overall, it does align pretty well with the rest of my discography if a little more unapologetic about being transgender. Most of my gendered poetry or writing surrounds being nonbinary, which is under that umbrella, but has, sometimes, different connotations, or being a butch lesbian, to which the same applies. This was about the act of transitioning and about shifting into new titles and new habits. Most of my work is written from inside the cocoon, whereas this one is from outside it, if that makes sense.
Why did you choose Team Taylor?
As soon as I saw that you liked religious themes I knew I couldn't pass that up! I write with religious and historical iconography and biblical allusions near constantly, so it fit like a glove. I also love work that deals with 'the body,' kinda stuff and has to deal with anything nerdy like turning nouns into verbs, so it was a checklist of yes's as far as I'm concerned. Though... Martheaus' list was also really inspiring because strange things and conversational works also check some boxes for me. But, at the end of the day, I felt like this one carried a more 'Team Taylor' vibe! So... YAY TEAM TAYLOR ! Thank you for the wonderful opportunity!